Make it a Habit

It’s clear that self-care habits improve our lives in all the major life categories from physical to spiritual. The next question is how do we make self care a habit?

When you get ready for your day in the morning, do you (at some point) brush your teeth? Well, we hope the answer is yes. Do you think about it – it’s doubtful you are walking into the bathroom and saying either out loud or in your head, “I think I will brush my teeth. First I will reach for my toothbrush, and then run the water, and then put toothpaste on the toothbrush.” No, we are not robotic in that manner. We simply go ahead and brush our teeth without a conversation either out loud or inside our heads about it because it’s a habit.

Integrating self-care into all aspects of your life is possible. Moreover, it’s possible to make self-care a habit as simple as brushing your teeth.

When you consciously and intentionally include self-care into your life, you take the reigns of your well-being. I’ve never really cared for the expression “take responsibility for your life” as it sounds too harsh. I prefer to say take the reigns – in other words, make conscious, deliberate choices.

List the multiple categories of your life and then start with one. Create an intentional plan to add self-care into that one area. Chances are if you try to do too many things at once, you become like the circus act trying to keep all the plates spinning on the stick – eventually they all crash to the ground.

• Psychological:

Having experienced so much mental anguish both from nature and nurture perspectives, there is a much deeper meaning to self-care leaning more toward self-preservation. It is our job and our right to nurture and care for ourselves. Waiting around for someone to like us and love us is giving agency to others for what is ours to do. Give no one the power to validate you; you are fearfully and wonderfully made. 

Self-talk is self-care. When a thought arises, ask yourself how true is this? Is it fact or fiction? Look for the opposite of the negative thoughts, words and emotions you are feeling and make a list of all the times you were successful, loved, accepted, courageous. If you feel like you messed up with someone, make a list of how many times you did things just right. If you feel like you failed at something, see how you can clean it up and make a list of how many times you succeeded. Make a list of all that you’ve been through and you got through it all.

If you are believing you are alone, think about how many people in your life came to your aid to help you when you were in need – whether it was a stranger or a family member. Create a strategy plan for how to feel less isolated – a hobby, an online group, volunteer – it’s good for your soul!

• Emotional:

Some of us have an unhealthy habit of shoving unpleasant emotions down so far we don’t have to deal with them. Self-care involves dealing with those emotions, allowing them time and space to process, and then moving forward. Grab your journal – write down your emotions. Ask them what they have come here to show you. Ask them if they are fact or fiction. If fact, then create strategies to process them (write them down and rip them up, talk to a friend, meditate, journal, pray, join a support group, seek professional help, yoga, mindfulness  – take those reigns, you’ve got this!).

If fiction, thank them, bless them, and wish them well. Tell them you no longer need those old stories and you are choosing (take those reigns!) to release them because they no longer serve you or anyone in your life. At one time or another, those emotions bode you well (kept you safe), but now you are in control. You are a grown up and you can choose different ways of being. 

• Spiritual:

You don’t have to be religious to get in touch with your spiritual side. For spiritual self-care in this category you could try positive affirmations, reading self-help books, visit a religious or other service, or spending some time in nature, and reminding yourself that you were made authentically as you are and as you are not – you are perfectly imperfect. Learn to take steps to like and love the parts of you which  you feel are all so unacceptable – the shy nature, your boisterous too-muchness, your sensitive side – all of you.  

• Physical:

Our bodies are the only vessel we get in this lifetime. And yes, exercise is important, but think about the bigger picture. Getting physical is an excellent way to burn off steam along with those extra calories. More importantly, exercise has benefits for your mindset, as well. 

Cross-fit might be great for some, while others might be a little more comfortable taking the dog for a walk. It can be in a gym or outside, in a group or alone. Whatever works best for you and your fitness level.

• Social:

Humans thrive on social interaction. The introvert might disagree, but there’s an innate level of satisfaction in creating long-lasting and substantial bonds with other humans. If you are an introvert like me, find a small group of special friends to bond with. Once you are supported and comfortable, try stretching outside of your comfort zone and find a small group of just-for-fun friends. The possibilities are endless. 

There are countless ways to engage in social self-care: Support groups, brunch with friends, attending a social group meeting like a book club, or volunteering your time at a school or non-profit organization.

If “people-ing” isn’t your thing, try reaching out to someone via email or engaging in online forums or engage in an old-fashioned long-distance telephone call to while away the hours.

Prioritize Yourself and Take Action

We’ve gone over the five main areas of self-care, but how do you really get in there and decide what’s right for you? First and foremost, you need to make self-care a habit  and not an “if I get time” activity.

This is for your own personal enrichment and well-being. You have to invest in yourself to reaps the rewards. And you are definitely worth the investment!

I see  you. I get you. I’ve been where you are.

With Power & Grace,

Ann